First year teaching...I almost didn't make it!

Six years ago I almost quit my first year teaching.

Yep, it was almost Christmas break and I truly thought I could not make it any more.

I was working in a Behavior Unit with Emotionally Disturbed (ED) high schoolers. I had a caseload of almost 20 kids. I was in a dilapidated old trailer/portable and my doors to the outside didn’t lock. Besides what I could find on Google, I had received no training on how to deal with ED kids.

 On any given day I had 8 kids in my room. This doesn’t seem like a large number until you start factoring in their other issues.  

These kids were not your average group. I had several (if not all) kids that had P.O.’s (Parole Officers) and records.

They would think nothing of “cussing out” a teacher.

 I had a 9^th grader that self medicated on drugs and alcohol before he came to school.

 I had a kid who would constantly make threats that he was going to kill someone—and his methods of killing were extremely descriptive and gruesome—like, “I am going to slice you up into little bits with a chainsaw and feed you to my pitbull.”

 I had kids who would think nothing of punching a wall.

 I had several “runners” who I had to be on the lookout for.  

I had a 16 year old ninth grader who over dosed on pain killers in October. His funeral was an open casket and the image of him lying in that coffin still haunts me to this day.  

All my kids in my portable had seen violence of some sort firsthand…rape, abuse, suicide, etc.

I didn’t get a conference period or a lunch. I was always in my portable.

I had a bow tie wearing principal that hated my guts and would send me emails that simply read, “See Me.” I dreaded those emails because they usually meant that I had messed up colossally—but I usually had no idea that I was messing up.

Oh, and I was the Girls Varsity Soccer Coach.

The worst part was, I had no idea how to make things any better. I didn’t know how to manage a group of kids with problems that I could never imagine.

So yeah, I almost quit my first year teaching. I simply could not deal with the drama and all the negativity that surrounded me.

But, I did stick it out and I really am glad that I did. 

I stayed for the kids—who, most of the time treated me with respect and kindness—even though they hated the world around them.

When people ask me about my first year teaching, sometimes I will tell them a short bit of the full story—but they usually think I am over exaggerating.

I wish I could make this stuff up.